Our culture has capitalized on this fact that we are impatient by nature and has carefully groomed us to expect instant everything. But the harsh reality is that we don’t always get what we want, even if it is what God wants for us, when we want it.
In the four months since I have moved back to Austin, my idea of what my life would be like by now has pretty much shriveled up and died. My expectations have proven to be a bit unrealistic, although not necessarily by the world’s standards, but by the standards adhered to when walking out what the Lord is leading you in – no matter how crazy it seems to yourself and everyone else.
Where I thought I would be by now is a tiny little speck on the horizon while I stand here in the middle of nowhere under a big red circle that reads, “You are here.” Well, “here” is not where I want to be. I want to be “there.” Waaaay over there. Now, please.
While I have spent much of the last several weeks feeling like I was spinning my wheels going absolutely NO-where, just waiting for something – anything – to bust open, I am beginning to catch a little glimpse of the “why” behind all this waiting. It’s still a little fuzzy, but I am confident that the path that has been laid out before me will gradually come into focus as my “eyes” adjust.
Things are beginning to move slowly. Very slowly. I have been often frustrated in recent months because things were not happening as quickly as I thought they should. I have questioned whether or not I had heard God in pursuing the things I have been pursuing, and each and every time, I have ultimately returned to this one simple truth:
There is an illogical peace that resides deep in the soul of a child of God when she is standing dead center in the will of God for her life.
It makes no sense. Every circumstance swirling around her screams, “Worry – fear – dread!” But she quietly stands. The people around her question her actions and may eventually begin to believe that she has somehow missed the mark. There she is, standing alone. Her own thoughts and everything she has come to understand as what “should be” are shaken to the very core and pieces begin to crumble to the ground. She’s still standing.
This peace defies all reason and even makes her look like a fool. But it is the quiet confidence that is intravenously transmitted from the heart of the Almighty Himself directly into her spirit, and it is the very source of her strength and resolve to keep standing.
He sees the much larger picture of His plan for me than I will ever be able to comprehend or would even be able to carry if I saw it all now. This is where trust becomes something you can sink your teeth into. This is where faith brings you one step closer to spiritual adulthood, making the transition from child to woman or man. This is where your spirit becomes more intricately intertwined with that of the Creator. This is real – more real than anything else staring you in the face right now.
So keep standing. Keep your eyes fixed on the face of the One Who knows you best and loves you most. Your Deliverer is coming. He is standing by. You WILL see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness
of the LORD in the land of the living.”