As I realize how much time has passed since I last posted, I am reminded of just how quickly life happens when we are looking the other way.
The past few months have seen many changes, not the least of which is David and I being reunited in the same house for the first time since January of last year. The move from Arkansas to Texas was a transition that took longer than either of us had anticipated in terms of our living in separate areas of town while job issues were resolved.
Well, resolution is not fully complete, but thankfully we are back under the same roof. We spent several grueling months trying to purchase a home only to have the financing fall through at the last minute, the result of mishandling by our broker. We decided to find a small and cheap rental to give us some time to regroup, and on April 1, we moved into a small, modest four-plex in an area near one of central Texas’ greatest treasures, Lake Travis.
I mentioned “many changes,” and while time does not allow me to elaborate on that at the moment, I can say that where I find myself today is working to build a home-based business while also looking for a “real” job to help sustain us financially until the aforementioned business takes off, which I am confident that it eventually will. This process has proven to be a real test of my faith, as we have really had to trust the Lord for His provision during this season of continued transition.
The past couple of weeks have brought me into a realm of renewed closeness with Him as He has once again drawn me into His presence at unexpected times, in unexpected ways and in unexpected places. As I have begun to release my grasp on the circumstances around me and my incessant drive to control them, I have watched His provision come forth in short bursts when I’m least expecting it. My sensitivity to His gentle nudgings is being heightened, as is my awareness of Him throughout the day.
During a recent encounter I had with Him, I tearfully asked Him why He had been so silent lately. He replied that He had been bringing me to a place of total dependence on Him because of what He is about to release me into. The details of this are currently between me and Him, but let me encourage you with this:
If you are feeling isolated and alone in your relationship with Him, and His voice seems distant at best, do not give up. Stay close to Him. Keep pressing your head into His chest. Let go of whatever it is you need to let go of. If you genuinely ask, He will show you – in fact, you probably already know what it is.
Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. He is not afraid of them, and He will answer them. Most of all, seek wisdom. When you aren’t hearing anything regarding where to turn next, His wisdom will guide you, and He promises to give it freely.
Blessings on you and yours. May hope reign in your heart and peace reside in your spirit.